December 28th, 2007 San Diego, California: The anticipated matchup between the Texas Longhorns and the Arizona State Sun Devils certainly didn’t lack eventful stories this past Thursday night. While in the broadcasting booth with color commentator Kirk Herbstreit, Brent Musburger achieved, what witnesses called, “a massive laughter erection” following Chris Jessie’s attempted scoop of a live football bouncing down the UT sideline.
“I was afraid,” said Herbstreit after the game. “I’ve always felt uncomfortable with him in the booth, but that was just upsetting.” Herbstreit paced back and forth while being questioned by reporters. “Get me my bourbon,” added the flustered Herbstreit.
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For thirty nine consecutive minutes following Chris Jessie’s errant maneuver, Musburger giggled uncontrollably, slurring play-calling, stats, and his oft-used overdramatic, nonsensical and clichéd parables. Nearby fans in skyboxes compared the giggling to those of “high Asian schoolgirls coming to America.”
“Each bellow of laughter raised his voice, spirit and pleats,” Herbstreit reminisced. “After ten minutes or so, I had given up speaking into the microphone.” Cameras that cut to the booth revealed that Herbstreit was, in fact, weeping in the corner.
Wild and immature laughter is all reporters were able to seize out of the hysterical Musburger following the game. There were reports that some saw Musburger have an “explosive orgasm” while leaving the booth that night. These reports have yet to be confirmed.
Texas football coach Mack Brown later spoke to Musburger and was apparently able to calm him down. Mack admitted that yes, his stepson’s behavior was funny and wildly inappropriate, but nothing to “blow one’s load over.” Added Mack, “I promised him if he calmed down, I’d give him a hug.”
